It's For The Best
by sctwilightvampwolfgal
Summary: Makoto knows that it's for the best that they are learning to not isolate themselves, that they're learning what it is like to have normal friends, but he still wishes more strongly than he should that they could go back to the way things were before Nagisa found them again. *Deanon from the Free Iwatobi Swim Club Kink Meme.*


He clings, because he doesn't know what to do, latches on tighter than anything, knows that there is an element of safety to hiding from the rest of the world, clinging to one who depends on him so much.

He steps into the house, long hours spent here have imprinted the place on to his mind as he enters the bathroom, nearly trembles when his best friend isn't there.

Makoto takes a deep breath and spins around, searching instinctively through the house before finding Haru dressed and in the kitchen, sitting down, a plate that once contained mackerel in front of him.

The taller of the two ignores the persistent spike digging into his heart as he moves towards him, pretending that it's nothing, that it doesn't hurt to have their dynamic uprooted, "Ready to go?" He's glad that he doesn't look sad at all as Haru looks over at him.

It's weird the way that it feels like he's being ripped open under the gaze of the most beautiful eyes ever focusing on him, and it's definitely not okay to hurt like this over something silly as Haru becoming more independent.

Mako's supposed to be the one to pull Haru out of the tub in the morning, to make sure he gets dressed, and to spend every moment, ensuring that their dynamic flourishes.

Haru nodded and stood up, and all Makoto could see for a moment was how things were changing, how he couldn't be the one to make sure that Haru has a social life, couldn't be the one to balance everything; their relationship was all he'd ever known anymore, years had pushed it down into the perfect routine.

He led Haru along to school, and yet could not find the words to talk to him unlike every other day where he led the conversation, learned everything that he could about Haru, spent every second trying to be what he needed in the world as Haru was his.

If he had Haru to nurture, to care for, he'd be happy, and he wouldn't need to go out and search for another person to cherish and treasure.

Haru filled that void in his life, became all that Makoto needed, and yet now he couldn't even have that; it was almost like it was time to put more effort out into the world again, work as hard as he could to be normal, to not clutch Haru closer as a means to protect himself.

He'd always needed Makoto before to have family gatherings, to be one of the only people he talked to, to support him, and catch every hidden meaning buried within.

Makoto knew that what they had wasn't healthy, that now it was being cemented into reality, pushed out from just his mind into every broken, shattered moment.

He'd always been the one to guard Haru, to keep him from stripping in public, and it hurt to think that others could fill that void in Haru's life even though he knew it was much, much better for Haru to have more people in his life, to truly see more of the world without the crutch of his sort of best friend almost lover.

Makoto wanted those quiet moments, kisses that felt locked up just for them, the gentle way, he could grab Haru's hand sometimes when they were alone, and the way they blended and became the world for each other.

Who needed someone else when the only person you truly know keeps you grounded and meets all of your basic needs?

Makoto knows that he can't always be everything to Haru, that not everyday can begin with helping him from the bath, sneaking a kiss when no one was around, and balancing the extremes of their personalities.

He always needed someone to lean on him, needed someone to coddle, and Haru'd always needed someone to guide him through life, practically selflessly.

Makoto took a deep breath and tried to pretend that they hadn't been isolating themselves together, that they hadn't been shunning the world often enough to latch on like leeches to one another.

He doesn't want it to end, doesn't want it to change; Haru's his last lifeline to his past, last lifeline to normalcy, to stay perfectly codependent.

Makoto never needed other friends; he had Haru, and likewise for Haru, but the truth sinks in before anyone can ever expect it to.

He needed to learn to grow stronger, more independent, needed to have friends, and Haru needed to grow stronger and more independent too.

They needed to grow less clingy, learn to understand others, and feel the breakaway that sometimes happens with others, feel what normal friendship feels like to better themselves.

Makoto sighs, still sneaks away from the others with Haru, kisses him, memorizes the exact way his lips feel on his and knows it's wrong through every last pore of his being and yet ignores that voice.

He wishes that they could've remained the old way forever even though it's slowly breaking their hearts to be so isolated.

Makoto takes a deep breath and tries to let the two of them grow, knows that it's for the best.


End file.
